Choosing to be a Mother

As most of you know, I like movies, tv shows, music, and books a little too much. I just love how they create emotion and bring everything from life to life in concrete and unique ways. Have you seen Mona Lisa Smile? I just like that movie. And probably most for the scene below: (It's not very high quality, and cuts off... but you get the idea)

I have just been thinking a lot about choosing everyday what I choose. Every day I wake up and choose to be a good mother or a mediocre mother. A good wife or a mediocre wife. Being a homemaker is such funny job really. It isn't measured by yearly evaluations, nor by promotions or raises. (In fact, when we get promotions, we usually have to learn to live on less money as opposed to earning more). It's measured in the everyday little things. Smiles. Lack of tantrums. Happiness. Giggles. Attitudes. Compliments of "clean house!" "Great dinner," "Thanks for all you do!" and also from within.

Recently, I watched the Annual General Conference from our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And every time I watch our living prophets and apostles teach us, I am always struck by the simplicity of what they say. "Stop it!" and "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you" And afterwards, I always want to be a better mother, a better wife, a better person. It doesn't materialize as quickly as it does in my heart, but it does inspire me, and it does change me.  If I choose to let it. Agency is crazy amazing, folks. Every day, every moment, we choose what kind of person we are going to be. And every moment we choose our attitude. I have had a bad attitude lately, and I think it could use some adjustments. And because I chose to stay at home with my children, there are certain things I don't do. There are certain things I do do. And there are things I don't regret, like "not using my degree." But surely, I wonder. Yet I also can guarantee that if I had chosen a career over motherhood, it would gnaw at me everyday. Thanks Joan, for putting it like it is...